Let It Be A Sweet, Sweet Sound.

It's been a whole season since I've written anything real or of reflection. Summer was definitely a season. A season of slight ups but heavy downs. The past year was very difficult for me and I'm happy I was able to conquer the storms by myself. September is slowly coming to a close and, now, I find myself in the cafe of William Paterson University. I like it here...I truly do. There are so many different and new faces of which I'd like to know...(but, I really wish I had the time to get to know everyone)... I recently had a long conversation with my best friend about how certain people can really fascinate us. This sort of fascination doesn't come from attraction. It's the type of fascination that ignites from the desire of knowing more about those certain people. Every face we see around ourselves has a story, an opinion, a stance, a religion....I personally think that it's the human mind that makes the person. Our interests, opinions, stances, beliefs, ...

I always loved sitting on my throne with sticks in each hand and ready to hit every single beat. Year after year, my skills progressed and the music going in my ears and out into my hands changed as I played. This wasn’t for the attention. No way that I would put my pride before my art and I would never ask for praise to start. This is for the feeling I get within my body, a type of feeling that I couldn’t quite explain. Every beat and crash of a cymbal, every kick of a bass and bang of a tom was like a kiss to my body. Everything like a sensational high as I banged away. But it was still more than a temporary high, It’s still more than what I can do. Sitting on a throne, sticks hand in hand and I know there are eyes on me. I don’t want those eyes, I don’t want those eyes on me. My focus of my musical talent was for someone greater than I am. Someone bigger and greater than storms and kings. A congregation’s eyes should see an almighty Savior Ki...

I'm 20. A young age but also an age that brings me on the verge of adulthood. I recently finished my last court for a friend's debut/18th birthday party. I definitely felt that I shouldn't be doing it when I was asked to be the escort. I'm at least 2 years older than most of the people in her court. Not much of an age gap, but I think being in 5 other courts for debuts and sweet sixteens in the past was enough for me. But, I was chosen to be the escort. Let me be real....this court was the most stressful ever. But, once the party came and ended, all the stress was well worth it. This is (hands down) my favorite court. I'm probably going to get hate from all of the girls' courts I was in before. I haven't made new friends in while. Well...I haven't made new friends in a court that I wanted to follow up with. Everyone was just so awesome. I can't possibly find any other words to describe the amount of fun and joy I had with everyone being in this c...

The youth pastor at my church, who is also a great friend of mine, gave me very encouraging words today: "We aren't training high school kids and college students be leaders of this church...we're training them to be leaders." There have been way too many things going around me. Things I find out about my close friends, recent deaths, ministries that need help, and just some things I might not even completely understand. I am surprisingly not overwhelmed by it all. I wish I could be there for everyone in an instant moment to tend to their needs....but I'm not a superhero. At a time like this I find myself asking the most generic, Christian question...What would Jesus do? I have always loved and cared for the people I worshipped with and worked with since 2008. These people have not just been co-worshippers, co-servers, and co-leaders, but they have been loving and caring friends to me knowing that I am imperfect, I have hurt them, and I am stubborn. L...

It took me a semester and a half to figure out what I want to do after high school. It took me a semester and a half to figure out the value of hard work. I know my capabilities. I know my strengths and weaknesses. Coming out of high school, I decided to be a business major. I didn't really think about....the main reason I decided on that was because I wanted a fast way out of the "I don't know what I want after high school" phase. I realized that, especially in Essex County College, it is very difficult to stay interested and motivated in business related classes. I would skip my business and management class from time to time and accounting is by far the most difficult class I've ever been in. My professors for accounting weren't the worst...I can admit that. Although I did not like their teaching methods, I knew that it was still on me to do the work and stay motivated. However, it's very hard to stay motivated when you're not interested. This i...

Hoping and praying that i can be the best director I can possibly be for Re/Group Ministries after Ian gives up his position or when his time to serve in it has expired. I know that God has finally revealed a part of His plan for me and I know that being director is for me. After my last youth camp as a student last year, I wondered what I was going be doing with myself. I've learned so much in high school from painful experiences to the amazing blessings, joys, and victories. I can also add what past youth camps did to help me in my growth. But, my senior year was over and college was beginning. I remember telling a close friend of mine while we were hanging out that I wasn't looking to drum for future youth camps if we were going to serve in the future (deep down....we both knew we'd end up drumming for praise and worship anyway...and we did). I told him I wanted a big leadership position, the director.  This past summer I learned so much about pushing yourself ...

It could just be me, but why is it that it's only me who feels behind? I rarely think less of myself nowadays, however I feel as if I'm still the baby of my age group. I feel as if I'm the only one who is still clinging to the status quo and all of the things I'm already used to. After many trials and struggles in high school, it became easier for me to accept things the way they are and let go. This seems different.... Two of my best friends from high school are in the navy. One of my closest cousins is going to the navy. My closest, and most beloved friend recently moved to Florida and absolutely loves her new home in Jacksonville. My cousin, who I consider an older brother, has a child and will eventually move to a different state. One by one.....my dearest and closest people in my life are all leaving NJ and heading to somewhere they're ready to take on their next steps and challenges of life. And me? I'm stuck in the comfort of my home, this uneventfu...