Feeling Behind.

It could just be me, but why is it that it's only me who feels behind? I rarely think less of myself nowadays, however I feel as if I'm still the baby of my age group. I feel as if I'm the only one who is still clinging to the status quo and all of the things I'm already used to. After many trials and struggles in high school, it became easier for me to accept things the way they are and let go. This seems different....

Two of my best friends from high school are in the navy. One of my closest cousins is going to the navy. My closest, and most beloved friend recently moved to Florida and absolutely loves her new home in Jacksonville. My cousin, who I consider an older brother, has a child and will eventually move to a different state.

One by one.....my dearest and closest people in my life are all leaving NJ and heading to somewhere they're ready to take on their next steps and challenges of life.

And me? I'm stuck in the comfort of my home, this uneventful town, and this almost mediocre community college. I want to be where they are. I've thought of so many things I could be doing with my life, then I find myself on the same bed of my parents' home wondering why am I not doing anything? And I wonder if I'm the only one feeling like this.

It's not that I don't have my life put together...It's not that I need more time to catch up...It's probably just me. For a long time I have been waiting for God's calling. I still haven't figured out what He wants for me however I know He has called me to serve within Bible Church International and ReGroup Ministries. Maybe...just maybe.....that's why I'm still here and not out in the world where I want to be and what I want to be doing.

Settling, serving, smiling....that's countering the feeling of feeling behind. Staying committed to God and fearing Him makes me understand that He is in control and that there are amazing things ahead of me,

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