always willing.

The youth pastor at my church, who is also a great friend of mine, gave me very encouraging words today:

"We aren't training high school kids and college students be leaders of this church...we're training them to be leaders."

There have been way too many things going around me. Things I find out about my close friends, recent deaths, ministries that need help, and just some things I might not even completely understand. I am surprisingly not overwhelmed by it all. I wish I could be there for everyone in an instant moment to tend to their needs....but I'm not a superhero. At a time like this I find myself asking the most generic, Christian question...What would Jesus do?

I have always loved and cared for the people I worshipped with and worked with since 2008. These people have not just been co-worshippers, co-servers, and co-leaders, but they have been loving and caring friends to me knowing that I am imperfect, I have hurt them, and I am stubborn. Leaving where I am definitely won't be hard if I am called to be somewhere else. Then again...it won't be too easy knowing I will be criticized and judged. I already hear the bombardment of questions and discouraging comments....

I've been meaning to do some exploring. I've got this sudden desire in my heart to dive into a different place....a place where I might be of a good fit. Do I fit where I am now? I'm not saying I don't...I know that I was called to do the work of God in the place I grew up in...of course. But...I'm older now. I am capable of more things. There are friends I have in other churches (deep in ministry) who aren't as spoiled as we are. I know, most of the time, who needs help when I see it. Knowing my capabilities and desire to do work for God, I don't see a reason why I shouldn't help. It nearly saddens me to see how blessed I am to be where I am presently but seeing others in near-dire need of help and support to grow. There has been a knocking on my heart with this desire for helping everyone and this desire to be in ministry (mainly music and/or youth). I know that God can and will do amazing things through me and the ministries I'm called to and put my heart into. 

I thank God for giving me a heart that is willing to pour love, care, and generosity to my loved ones. I know that I am not capable of everything and with my imperfections I will not able to help everyone around me. However, I am always willing.


I trust that God puts desires in my heart for reasons. I trust that He has great plans for me. I trust God with complete control over my life and if it's meant to be....God will let it happen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Re/Group.

Hoping and praying that i can be the best director I can possibly be for Re/Group Ministries after Ian gives up his position or when his time to serve in it has expired. I know that God has finally revealed a part of His plan for me and I know that being director is for me. After my last youth camp as a student last year, I wondered what I was going be doing with myself. I've learned so much in high school from painful experiences to the amazing blessings, joys, and victories. I can also add what past youth camps did to help me in my growth. But, my senior year was over and college was beginning. I remember telling a close friend of mine while we were hanging out that I wasn't looking to drum for future youth camps if we were going to serve in the future (deep down....we both knew we'd end up drumming for praise and worship anyway...and we did). I told him I wanted a big leadership position, the director.  This past summer I learned so much about pushing yourself
Read more

an ode to a tie.

I respect you because wearing you gives me respect. You aren’t just an accessory or a required article of clothing for a job interview. You’re more than the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You’re the definition of dapper. You droop down so elegantly from my collar. You come in a wide variety of shapes, styles, sizes: a wool-knit skinny blue with white stripes, a madra medium sized green with a gold tie clip, and, of course, the classic silk black. I treat you with utmost care and delicacy. Throwing a solid color on a solid shirt would be a demeaning action. Seeing different patterns and textures come together is like a chef’s signature dish containing various flavors to create the perfect taste. There’s nothing like you on my outfit that could ever compliment everything so sharply.
Read more