run

I want to leave
and go somewhere
far enough
to see everything that I
left behind
vanish from the
distance
that I created
in between me
and everything else.
There is no place
for me to feel strong or satisfied
in the midst of
weak relationships.
I know people who’ve left
for places with
more sunshine, more water,
and more opportunities.
A beach…..that
should suffice.
A breath of the fresh,
salty air cleansing
my mutilated mind
is one of the little things
I could find if I ever
wanted to depart.
I’m a puzzle piece
trying to fit in
a keyhole.
I should eventually
embark on a journey
to find exactly where it is
that I am
your perfect fit,
your missing piece,
or exactly
what you need.
That is when I’ll finally realize
I’m where I should be.
If everything that I’ve left behind
seems to suddenly reappear,
then I’ll travel farther away
so no one would fall into a trap
just to reach for me.
And maybe, I’ll travel so deep
that I’ll be the only one
who drowns
rather than drowning in the tears of
people that
I’ve hurt.
Where is the farthest beach?
I’ll find it and
find an even farther one
until
I’m ready to fight again.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Re/Group.

Hoping and praying that i can be the best director I can possibly be for Re/Group Ministries after Ian gives up his position or when his time to serve in it has expired. I know that God has finally revealed a part of His plan for me and I know that being director is for me. After my last youth camp as a student last year, I wondered what I was going be doing with myself. I've learned so much in high school from painful experiences to the amazing blessings, joys, and victories. I can also add what past youth camps did to help me in my growth. But, my senior year was over and college was beginning. I remember telling a close friend of mine while we were hanging out that I wasn't looking to drum for future youth camps if we were going to serve in the future (deep down....we both knew we'd end up drumming for praise and worship anyway...and we did). I told him I wanted a big leadership position, the director.  This past summer I learned so much about pushing yourself
Read more

always willing.

The youth pastor at my church, who is also a great friend of mine, gave me very encouraging words today: "We aren't training high school kids and college students be leaders of this church...we're training them to be leaders." There have been way too many things going around me. Things I find out about my close friends, recent deaths, ministries that need help, and just some things I might not even completely understand. I am surprisingly not overwhelmed by it all. I wish I could be there for everyone in an instant moment to tend to their needs....but I'm not a superhero. At a time like this I find myself asking the most generic, Christian question...What would Jesus do? I have always loved and cared for the people I worshipped with and worked with since 2008. These people have not just been co-worshippers, co-servers, and co-leaders, but they have been loving and caring friends to me knowing that I am imperfect, I have hurt them, and I am stubborn. L
Read more

an ode to a tie.

I respect you because wearing you gives me respect. You aren’t just an accessory or a required article of clothing for a job interview. You’re more than the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You’re the definition of dapper. You droop down so elegantly from my collar. You come in a wide variety of shapes, styles, sizes: a wool-knit skinny blue with white stripes, a madra medium sized green with a gold tie clip, and, of course, the classic silk black. I treat you with utmost care and delicacy. Throwing a solid color on a solid shirt would be a demeaning action. Seeing different patterns and textures come together is like a chef’s signature dish containing various flavors to create the perfect taste. There’s nothing like you on my outfit that could ever compliment everything so sharply.
Read more