Let It Be A Sweet, Sweet Sound.

I find it funny how we want something so badly. Once we find no need or no specialty, we can just get rid of it or dispose of it so easily. Why do we spend so much time searching for something that we can just…love…something that we’ve been dying to have and couldn’t wait to have…except when you finally get your own selfish hands on it, you still look at with the same eyes of fascination and awe of when you didn’t have it before. Whether we we didn’t hesitate to drop it or had to find legitimate reasons to let go….then, we never really  loved  whatever it was held on to.  We all know what  eyes  I’m talking about. The drying eyes we all of a sudden get when we’ve focused all of our attention onto something and our brain forgets to tell our eyes to blink. The enlarged eyes we get when we see a phenomenon of a night sky or seeing something breathtaking directly before us. The pupils of our very eyes dilate in the dark to let more light in….But, they also dilate when we see someone att

Procrastination at it's best right now. John Mayer is playing on Spotify, a lit candle burns as I attempt to finish my research paper, my mind and body energized from the cranberry Red Bull. But, how did I ever get you so energized to run in all the corners and crevices of my mind? Even at this time, any normal mind, unlike mine, will be fast asleep after a day's worth of reality's work. Not me. I lay in bed not just attempting to finish the homework I haven't started, but to propel the late-night thoughts that are so ready to consume everything that is good in me and everything that is strong enough to fight whatever menaces against my heart. It's funny when you procrastinate, the regrets always smack you in the face as if saying, "You can do better than this." But, all you ever find yourself saying is, "I will next time."

It's nearly 1:30 am. My right leg is sore, my right ankle is hurting, and my nose has never been any more unnecessarily congested. I'm sitting on my full-sized bed tired from an 8-hour shift of selling shoes. I guess working in retail you start to realize their are more cons of Black Friday. The endless amount of customers walking through the doors who constantly fish a better discount than the one we already offer. I should also mention the type of customers who look at the price tag, yet still ask me how much the shoe is. All of this I have to deal with just to earn a little bit more than minimum wage. Maybe, I can find a better job than this. However, I love it here. The co-workers are great, but...I love the employee discounts, too. Being a part-time sales associate and a full time student can get slightly stressful at times. As an English major, I'm required to write an endless amount of creative, critical, and analytic pieces to earn a grade. It's honestly enjoy

I respect you because wearing you gives me respect. You aren’t just an accessory or a required article of clothing for a job interview. You’re more than the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You’re the definition of dapper. You droop down so elegantly from my collar. You come in a wide variety of shapes, styles, sizes: a wool-knit skinny blue with white stripes, a madra medium sized green with a gold tie clip, and, of course, the classic silk black. I treat you with utmost care and delicacy. Throwing a solid color on a solid shirt would be a demeaning action. Seeing different patterns and textures come together is like a chef’s signature dish containing various flavors to create the perfect taste. There’s nothing like you on my outfit that could ever compliment everything so sharply.

"Sometimes this world seems bigger than it is And I just can't help but see it this way And I know You're telling me to cast my cares aside You know I try, Oh I try These walls that I build Just won't let me see You These walls that I build Just won't let me hear You And these walls are just walls I build between You and me If I could see You, if I could hear You Then I'd know I need You just as before 'Cause I've barricaded these tendencies My selfish pride, these things inside They always get the best of me"

It's been a whole season since I've written anything real or of reflection. Summer was definitely a season. A season of slight ups but heavy downs. The past year was very difficult for me and I'm happy I was able to conquer the storms by myself. September is slowly coming to a close and, now, I find myself in the cafe of William Paterson University. I like it here...I truly do. There are so many different and new faces of which I'd like to know...(but, I really wish I had the time to get to know everyone)... I recently had a long conversation with my best friend about how certain people can really fascinate us. This sort of fascination doesn't come from attraction. It's the type of fascination that ignites from the desire of knowing more about those certain people. Every face we see around ourselves has a story, an opinion, a stance, a religion....I personally think that it's the human mind that makes the person. Our interests, opinions, stances, beliefs,

I always loved sitting on my throne with sticks in each hand and ready to hit every single beat. Year after year, my skills progressed and the music going in my ears and out into my hands changed as I played. This wasn’t for the attention. No way that I would put my pride before my art and I would never ask for praise to start. This is for the feeling I get within my body, a type of feeling that I couldn’t quite explain. Every beat and crash of a cymbal, every kick of a bass and bang of a tom was like a kiss to my body. Everything like a sensational high as I banged away. But it was still more than a temporary high, It’s still more than what I can do. Sitting on a throne, sticks hand in hand and I know there are eyes on me. I don’t want those eyes, I don’t want those eyes on me. My focus of my musical talent was for someone greater than I am. Someone bigger and greater than storms and kings. A congregation’s eyes should see an almighty Savior Ki

I'm 20. A young age but also an age that brings me on the verge of adulthood. I recently finished my last court for a friend's debut/18th birthday party. I definitely felt that I shouldn't be doing it when I was asked to be the escort. I'm at least 2 years older than most of the people in her court. Not much of an age gap, but I think being in 5 other courts for debuts and sweet sixteens in the past was enough for me. But, I was chosen to be the escort. Let me be real....this court was the most stressful ever. But, once the party came and ended, all the stress was well worth it. This is (hands down) my favorite court. I'm probably going to get hate from all of the girls' courts I was in before. I haven't made new friends in while. Well...I haven't made new friends in a court that I wanted to follow up with. Everyone was just so awesome. I can't possibly find any other words to describe the amount of fun and joy I had with everyone being in this c

The youth pastor at my church, who is also a great friend of mine, gave me very encouraging words today: "We aren't training high school kids and college students be leaders of this church...we're training them to be leaders." There have been way too many things going around me. Things I find out about my close friends, recent deaths, ministries that need help, and just some things I might not even completely understand. I am surprisingly not overwhelmed by it all. I wish I could be there for everyone in an instant moment to tend to their needs....but I'm not a superhero. At a time like this I find myself asking the most generic, Christian question...What would Jesus do? I have always loved and cared for the people I worshipped with and worked with since 2008. These people have not just been co-worshippers, co-servers, and co-leaders, but they have been loving and caring friends to me knowing that I am imperfect, I have hurt them, and I am stubborn. L