i'm home alone and i wrote this.

I find it funny how we want something so badly. Once we find no need or no specialty, we can just get rid of it or dispose of it so easily. Why do we spend so much time searching for something that we can just…love…something that we’ve been dying to have and couldn’t wait to have…except when you finally get your own selfish hands on it, you still look at with the same eyes of fascination and awe of when you didn’t have it before. Whether we we didn’t hesitate to drop it or had to find legitimate reasons to let go….then, we never really loved whatever it was held on to. 
We all know what eyes I’m talking about. The drying eyes we all of a sudden get when we’ve focused all of our attention onto something and our brain forgets to tell our eyes to blink. The enlarged eyes we get when we see a phenomenon of a night sky or seeing something breathtaking directly before us. The pupils of our very eyes dilate in the dark to let more light in….But, they also dilate when we see someone attractive. Our eyes do a majority of the judgment for us. If we see someone beautiful or drop-dead gorgeous, our eyes dilate….probably not to let more light in…but for our brain’s to capture a resilient image of the beauty in front of us. And who wouldn’t want to take all of that in? 
And if only I found something that would make me like this everyday. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Re/Group.

Hoping and praying that i can be the best director I can possibly be for Re/Group Ministries after Ian gives up his position or when his time to serve in it has expired. I know that God has finally revealed a part of His plan for me and I know that being director is for me. After my last youth camp as a student last year, I wondered what I was going be doing with myself. I've learned so much in high school from painful experiences to the amazing blessings, joys, and victories. I can also add what past youth camps did to help me in my growth. But, my senior year was over and college was beginning. I remember telling a close friend of mine while we were hanging out that I wasn't looking to drum for future youth camps if we were going to serve in the future (deep down....we both knew we'd end up drumming for praise and worship anyway...and we did). I told him I wanted a big leadership position, the director.  This past summer I learned so much about pushing yourself
Read more

always willing.

The youth pastor at my church, who is also a great friend of mine, gave me very encouraging words today: "We aren't training high school kids and college students be leaders of this church...we're training them to be leaders." There have been way too many things going around me. Things I find out about my close friends, recent deaths, ministries that need help, and just some things I might not even completely understand. I am surprisingly not overwhelmed by it all. I wish I could be there for everyone in an instant moment to tend to their needs....but I'm not a superhero. At a time like this I find myself asking the most generic, Christian question...What would Jesus do? I have always loved and cared for the people I worshipped with and worked with since 2008. These people have not just been co-worshippers, co-servers, and co-leaders, but they have been loving and caring friends to me knowing that I am imperfect, I have hurt them, and I am stubborn. L
Read more

an ode to a tie.

I respect you because wearing you gives me respect. You aren’t just an accessory or a required article of clothing for a job interview. You’re more than the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You’re the definition of dapper. You droop down so elegantly from my collar. You come in a wide variety of shapes, styles, sizes: a wool-knit skinny blue with white stripes, a madra medium sized green with a gold tie clip, and, of course, the classic silk black. I treat you with utmost care and delicacy. Throwing a solid color on a solid shirt would be a demeaning action. Seeing different patterns and textures come together is like a chef’s signature dish containing various flavors to create the perfect taste. There’s nothing like you on my outfit that could ever compliment everything so sharply.
Read more